On the 720th day of his imprisonment, SBF misses his teddy bear pillow
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On the 720th day of his imprisonment, SBF misses his teddy bear pillow
"Who writes a diary, anyway—only the boring people?"
Navigating Web3 tides with focused insightsBy: Jaleel
"What the actual fuck, we can't even use pillows? Are we not allowed to sleep?"
On December 13, 2022, FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried was formally arrested by Bahamian police. Counting from that day, this marks SBF’s 720th day in prison—exactly two years.
"I miss my little bear pillow, his name is Manfred," SBF wrote in his diary. This small bear named Manfred occupies the longest section in the first three chapters of 32-year-old SBF’s prison journal, aside from descriptions of his fellow inmates—after losing $11 billion in assets and being sentenced to 25 years in prison.
Exterior view of MDC Brooklyn, New York, where SBF is held
Outside the prison, SBF’s father has been one of the busiest people. Besides preparing legal appeals, he has also hired Walter Pavlo, a contributor at Forbes, as an advisor for SBF to focus on writing about prison life.
According to a source familiar with publishing negotiations, SBF's memoir could fetch publishers a seven-figure advance. "SBF's motivation for seeking a publisher remains unclear. It's obviously not about money."
Under asset forfeiture laws, all of SBF’s property and potential income—including proceeds from publishing a memoir—will be used to repay debts and compensate victims of his fraud. This means that even if the memoir generates substantial revenue, every dollar will go directly toward compensating those who suffered financial losses due to FTX's collapse.
In SBF’s Eyes, All Fellow Inmates Are Gorillas
"His writing style makes you think he's Jane Goodall," said someone who read the first three chapters of SBF’s diary. I find this comparison fitting. The biologist is the world's most renowned expert on chimpanzees, having studied chimp society and family interactions for over 60 years.
Here’s a sentence written by Jane Goodall: "For the first ten years of my research, I believed chimpanzees were kinder than humans—until I observed dominant females deliberately killing infants of other females in the group to maintain their status, even engaging in cannibalism. Like us, they too have a dark side."
Now here’s SBF, who seems to observe and study other prisoners like they’re chimpanzees:
"Most people get assimilated by prison—they’ll fight each other over a banana or trade everything they own for another chance to use drugs."
"A drug called Deuce is widely used here. Its composition is unknown, but I know it’s smuggled in by soaking regular paper. Every night, those who inhale it turn into zombies."
"There are two types of people in prison: those serving long sentences who have consciously given up hope in life." The second group is the one SBF belongs to: "When the system strips you of your freedom to resist, how do you fight back? When your true self is seen as such a threat to society that you must be locked away until you abandon it, how do you stay loyal to who you really are?"
It's said that after experiencing major events, people go through several psychological stages: numbness—disbelief and refusal to accept reality; blame—blaming others and oneself for failing to handle things properly; depression—accepting what happened and feeling sorrowful; recovery—overcoming despair and beginning anew.
Growing up in an academic elite family, prison life has had a profound impact on SBF. He appears to need more time than average to process emotional trauma. Even after two years behind bars, SBF still seems stuck between the first and second stages. His journal entries always carry a tone of detached observation, insisting "I don’t belong here."
On Day 720 in Prison, SBF Misses His Teddy Bear Pillow
Sleep in prison is poor. MDC, this land of insomnia, echoes nightly with screams and curses. Lights remain dimly lit 24 hours a day, blurring the sense of time—making it unbearable for SBF.
Since age two, SBF has owned a small stuffed bear named Manfred. This unassuming toy accompanied him through Stanford and Boston during university, through his trader career in New York, and across Berkeley, Hong Kong, and the Bahamas as he built Alameda and FTX—each of the most pivotal moments in SBF’s life.
In this loneliest chapter of his life, Manfred remains his only comfort. "I really miss Manfred," he wrote in his journal.
Image source: @LilMoonLambo
In MDC, a comfortable pillow is nearly a luxury. SBF tried using his court suit, towels, or folded prison uniforms as substitutes, but these makeshift solutions provided little relief. "My neck is already starting to hurt," he lamented.
Only after trading two muffins for a DIY pillow—made by a drug-addicted inmate from mattress stuffing and a T-shirt—did his nights become slightly more bearable.
Sports betting has become a common pastime among inmates. One day, a fellow prisoner named Harry shared his betting strategy with SBF: "Bet $100 first. If you lose, bet $250. Lose again, then bet $600—and so on, until you win back everything."
SBF wrote dismissively: "I couldn’t bring myself to tell him this trading strategy is a classic case of the 'gambler’s fallacy.'"
Though physically frail—appearing like an 80-year-old man—when it comes to gambling, no one in prison knows more than SBF. Beans and rice make up the main diet, and rice has even "become a form of currency within MDC." SBF joked, "Compared to his previous life as a high-frequency trader, the arbitrage opportunities here are far better." Once again, he resumes his arrogant role as a trader, looking down on everyone and everything around him.
Arrogant people are more likely to succeed—but also more likely to screw things up. This helps explain why, during the trial, he insisted on testifying himself to counter the three star witnesses against him—even though both his lawyer and a prosecutor warned him that defendant self-testimony rarely succeeds. Historically, very few defendants have won by taking the stand themselves; one prosecutor said he’d seen only one successful case in 22 years.
But SBF was determined, almost clashing with his own attorney, creating chaos in the courtroom.
SBF in MDC prison, Christmas 2023
In contrast stands CZ, who paid a $4.3 billion fine and served four months in a U.S. prison. At multiple prior court appearances, journalists photographed him wearing neat suits, calm and composed.
CZ entering and leaving court
Besides CZ’s own apology letter, the judge received the longest-ever mercy petition in history—43 pages—from CZ’s family, friends, and colleagues, painting a fuller, more human picture of him.
While sharing the same prison experience, CZ displayed a completely different attitude from SBF: "This experience helped me rediscover what truly matters in life. I miss my children, family, friends, colleagues, and community. I miss other things too, but nothing compares to missing people. You miss food, a comfortable bed—but those don’t affect me much."
When asked whether he made friends in prison, CZ answered affirmatively: "Yes, you have to make friends. Isolation would make it extremely hard." He expressed sympathy for inmates serving long sentences for minor offenses and stayed in touch with some of them.
CZ even started working out—a possible preparation before imprisonment to avoid appearing as “an 80-year-old man” in physique. A month after release, appearing at the Binance Blockchain Summit in Dubai, CZ looked better than anyone expected, earning thunderous applause. International headlines that day read: "The King Is Back."
If SBF Were Still Around
When SBF was arrested, Bitcoin traded at $16,000. Today, it’s at $100,000. During these two years, SBF missed a lot in the crypto industry.
Some take the "success defines the hero" view, arguing CZ has far richer life experience and shows greater resilience in adversity. Others reject judging solely by outcomes, believing the market might look very different today if SBF were still free.
"If SBF hadn’t gotten into trouble, the market would definitely be better now." This is a shared sentiment among many seasoned crypto veterans who lived through FTX’s golden era.
"For example, during recent market downturns, if FTX were still operational, retail traders would have more profit opportunities. Take FTX’s basket index of altcoins—allowing users to go long or short on the entire altcoin index rather than individual tokens."
But since FTX collapsed, this "alt-index" product category remains vacant. No platform currently offers a similar service.
It’s not just the loss of a trading tool. FTX’s downfall dealt a major blow to liquidity in the crypto market, drastically reducing overall market depth. "The entire industry regressed by at least three years," was the immediate impression of many at the time, including Justin Sun.
"SBF and FTX understood the market better than any current exchange platform."
SBF’s background as a trader left a deep impression. Many believe he had sharper instincts about market movements. There’s widespread belief that if SBF remained active, his insight and innovation could have elevated emerging sectors led by Solana to new heights—and lifted the entire industry along with them.
On the 720th day in prison, SBF misses his teddy bear Manfred. Outside, many still remember the golden age of SBF.
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